Here's the most recent Tool Shed News, sent to our regular customers almost every week. You get a sampling of part of the inventory that's in stock, there are jokes (PG rated, sort of), weekly specials, and anything else I decide to throw in. If you want to subscribe (for free), please note two things: One, it's for New England residents only, and two, I don't sell your name, so you won't be getting any more spam than what you get already. Send me an email at fairwayturf@hotmail.com  if you wish to subscribe and you live in New England.

       In either case, everything is always first come, first served, we do not take "holds" via phone or email, and we don't ship or mail anything.  Also, at least half the stuff that comes in gets sold long before it hits the newsletter, so don't use this as your only motivation to come into the store.  The people who find the most of what they are looking for are the people who come in regularly.  And check the date of the posting, as I'm not always as on top of it as I might be.

 

1073 Main Street

Worcester MA 01606

(508) 753-3738

 

On the web at www.used-tools.com  

October 13 ,2020

 

 

Hi gang,

 

there will be a limit to the number of people allowed in the store at one time.  If there are people waiting, there will be a 15 minute time limit for patrons. 

 

Bargain table is at two items for $0.25.

 

 

Hours this week: Wed-Sat 1-5

 

 

 

Video link:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1paOHiVWxcg

Humor Dept: NEED JOKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

Thanks ME

 

 

 

Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher was going to bring another bull onto the ranch, and the prospect raised a discussion among them.
The first bull says, "Boys, we all know I've been here 5 years. Once we settled our differences, we agreed on which 100 of the cows would be mine. Now, I don't know where this newcomer is going to get HIS cows, but I ain't' givin' him any of mine."



The second bull says, "That pretty much says it for me, too. I've been here 3 years and have earned my right to the 50 cows we've agreed are mine. I'll fight 'im till I run him off or kill 'im, but I'M KEEPIN' ALL MY COWS."
The third bull says, "I've only been here a year, and so far you guys have only let me have 10 cows to "take care of". I may not be as big as you fellows yet, but I am young and virile, so I simply MUST keep all MY cows."
They had just finished their big talk when an eighteen-wheeler pulls up in the middle of the pasture with only ONE ANIMAL IN IT: the biggest Son-of-Another-Bull these guys had ever seen! At 4700 pounds, each step he took toward the ground strained the steel ramp to the breaking point.



The first bull says, "Ahem...You know, it's actually been some time since I really felt I was doing all my cows justice, anyway. I think I can spare a few for our new friend."
The second bull says, "I'll have plenty of cows to take care of if I just stay on the opposite end of the pasture from HIM. I'm certainly not looking for an argument."
They look over at their young friend, the third bull, and find him pawing the dirt, shaking his horns, and snorting up a storm.



The first bull says, "Son, let me give you some advice real quick. Let him have some of your cows and live to tell about it."
The third bull says, "Heck, he can have ALL my cows. I'm just making sure he knows I'M a bull!"

 

 

Thanks ME

 

A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the bottle. During her struggle, the phone rang, so she asked her four-year-old daughter to answer it.

"It's the Minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she said to him, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."



 

Thanks ME

 

Two notorious drunks are sitting at the bar. One is crying. The other asks what's wrong.
"I've puked all over myself again and my wife is gonna kill me."

The other drunk says "do what I do pal. Explain to your wife that some other drunk puked on you. Put a ten spot in your shirt pocket and tell her that the drunk was sorry and gave you ten dollars to have your clothes cleaned."

"Sounds like a great idea" says drunk number 1.

When he gets home, sure enough his wife is fuming and begins yelling at him about his clothes and how disgusting he is. The drunk starts spinning the lie and says " look for yourself, there's ten bucks in my shirt pocket."

His wife looks in the pocket and finds twenty dollars.

"Wait a minute, I thought you said the guy gave you ten for puking on you," says the wife.

"He did," says the drunk.

"But he shit in my pants too."

 

 

 

 

Thanks,

Jim

 

 

Non-humor Department:  Note to all subscribers:  all items are being offered on a first come, first served basis, no item will be held on an email or phone call.  If you have a question, please call the store during my normal business hours, as it sometimes takes several days to respond to emails.  Also, these mailings can only describe a small number of the items I have in stock, and often things come and go much too quickly to get into the mailing. The way to get the things you want and need, therefore, is to stop by frequently, without waiting to be notified in advance, since the mailing can be hel

 

 

pful to you only to a point. 

 

                                         

Directions to the store:  from Interstate 290 West, take the Hope Ave exit to rotary, take first exit off of rotary .9 miles.  Take left after Fire Station, 1073 Main St. is yellow brick building on right.  Go to light, take right and another quick right to enter parking lot from Main St. entrance.  Overflow parking is next to the fire station.

 

From 290 East:  Take College Sq. exit, go left under 290 and get back on 290 headed west. Take the Hope Ave exit to rotary, take first exit off rotary .9 miles.  Take left after Fire Station, 1073 Main St. is yellow brick building on right.  Go to light, take right and another quick right to enter parking lot from Main St. entrance.  Overflow parking is next to the fire station.

 

 

Tool Shed News copyright 2020 by Jim Whitley