(508) 753-3738

Metalworking Hand Tools


 
      Here's the most recent Tool Shed News, sent to our regular customers almost every week. You get a sampling of part of the inventory that's in stock, there are jokes (PG rated, sort of), weekly specials, and anything else I decide to throw in. If you want to subscribe (for free), please note two things: One, it's for New England residents only, and two, I don't sell your name, so you won't be getting any more spam than what you get already. Send me an email at fairwayturf@hotmail.com  if you wish to subscribe and you live in New England.

       In either case, everything is always first come, first served, we do not take "holds" via phone or email, and we don't ship or mail anything.  Also, at least half the stuff that comes in gets sold long before it hits the newsletter, so don't use this as your only motivation to come into the store.  The people who find the most of what they are looking for are the people who come in regularly.  And check the date of the posting, as I'm not always as on top of it as I might be.

 

1073 Main Street

Worcester MA 01606

(508) 753-3738

 

On the web at www.used-tools.com

Oct 22, 2019

Hi, Gang-

 

Bargain table is at $1 per item.

 

 

 

 

Hours this week: Wed –Sat 1-5.

 

 

 

 

Video link:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLDxTtkNkcA&feature=youtu.be

Humor Dept: NEED JOKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

Thanks ME

 

 

A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away suddenly noticed that the man was slowing sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned. The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.

After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table." The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, "No he didn't. My husband just walked in the door."

 

 

Thanks ME

 

 

 

 

A bright young executive had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech firm. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and handed him three numbered envelopes.

“Open these if you run up against a problem you don’t think you can handle,” he said.

Well, things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, sales took a nosedive and he was really catching a lot of heat from the board. At wit’s end, he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope. The message read, “Blame your predecessor.”

The new CEO called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous CEO. Satisfied with his comments, the board, the press, and Wall Street responded positively, sales picked up, stock prices rose and the problem was soon behind him.

About a year later, the company was again experiencing a slight dip in sales, combined with serious problems getting new product to market. Having learned from his previous experience, the CEO wasted no time in opening the second envelope. The message read, “Reorganize.” This he did, and again the company quickly rebounded. After several consecutive profitable quarters, the company once again fell on difficult times. The CEO went to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope. The simple message said, “Prepare three envelopes…”

 

 

 

 

Thanks,

Jim

 

 

Non-humor Department:  Note to all subscribers:  all items are being offered on a first come, first served basis, no item will be held on an email or phone call.  If you have a question, please call the store during my normal business hours, as it sometimes takes several days to respond to emails.  Also, these mailings can only describe a small number of the items I have in stock, and often things come and go much too quickly to get into the mailing. The way to get the things you want and need, therefore, is to stop by frequently, without waiting to be notified in advance, since the mailing can be helpful to you only to a point. 

 

   

Directions to the store:  from Interstate 290 West, take the Hope Ave exit to rotary, take first exit off of rotary .9 miles.  Take left after Fire Station, 1073 Main St. is yellow brick building on right.  Go to light, take right and another quick right to enter parking lot from Main St. entrance.  Overflow parking is next to the fire station.

 

From 290 East:  Take College Sq. exit, go left under 290 and get back on 290 headed west. Take the Hope Ave exit to rotary, take first exit off rotary .9 miles.  Take left after Fire Station, 1073 Main St. is yellow brick building on right.  Go to light, take right and another quick right to enter parking lot from Main St. entrance.  Overflow parking is next to the fire station.

 

 

Tool Shed News copyright 2019 by Jim Whitley
 
 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 
      Here's the most recent Tool Shed News, sent to our regular customers almost every week. You get a sampling of part of the inventory that's in stock, there are jokes (PG rated, sort of), weekly specials, and anything else I decide to throw in. If you want to subscribe (for free), please note two things: One, it's for New England residents only, and two, I don't sell your name, so you won't be getting any more spam than what you get already. Send me an email at fairwayturf@hotmail.com  if you wish to subscribe and you live in New England.

       In either case, everything is always first come, first served, we do not take "holds" via phone or email, and we don't ship or mail anything.  Also, at least half the stuff that comes in gets sold long before it hits the newsletter, so don't use this as your only motivation to come into the store.  The people who find the most of what they are looking for are the people who come in regularly.  And check the date of the posting, as I'm not always as on top of it as I might be.

 

1073 Main Street

Worcester MA 01606

(508) 753-3738

 

On the web at www.used-tools.com  

 

 

July 14, 2020

 

 

Hi gang,

 

there will be a limit to the number of people allowed in the store at one time.  If there are people waiting, there will be a 15 minute time limit for patrons. 

 

Bargain table is at $1 per item.

 

 

Hours this week: Wed-Sat 1-5

 

 

 

 

Video link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_VJvGbTUkg

Humor Dept: NEED JOKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

Thanks FIN

 

 

Subject: Proof reading

 

 

Did I read that sign right?

"TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW."

------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -

In a Laundromat:

AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

------------------------------ ------------------------------ -----------------------------

In a London department store:

BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS...

------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------------------------

In an office:

WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK,

OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN.

------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------

In an office:

AFTER TEA BREAK, STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.

------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ --

Outside a second-hand shop:

WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC.

WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------

Notice in health food shop window:

CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS...

------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------

Spotted in a safari park:      
(I sure hope so.)

ELEPHANTS, PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR.

------------------------------ ------------------------------ ---------

Seen during a conference:

FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN, AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR.

------------------------------ ------------------------------ --------------------------

Notice in a farmer's field:

THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

------------------------------ ------------------------------ --------------------

Message on a leaflet:

IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS.

------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ --

Man kills self before shooting wife and daughter

This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this.

It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!!

They put in a correction the next day.

------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Really? Ya' think?

------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Now that's taking things a bit far!

------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

What a guy!      
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!

------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant      
See if that works better than a fair trial!

    ----------------------------- ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ---------

War Dims Hope for Peace

I can see where it might have that effect!

------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

Ya' think?!

------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Who would have thought!

------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?      
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Weren't they fat enough?!

------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

That's what he gets for eating those beans!

------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Do they taste like chicken?

***********************************************************  

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

******************************************************************************* 

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Boy, are they tall!

******************************************************************************** 

And the winner is:

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Did I read that right?
 

 

 

 

Thanks FIN

 

 

 

Now That I'm Older

 

1. My goal for 2020 was to lose 10 pounds.  Only have 14 to go.

 

2. Ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons and tomatoes. Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce, and cheese.  FINE, it was a pizza.... OK, I ate a pizza!  Are you happy now? (Well, not really since I have to eat Gluten-free)

 

3. How to prepare Tofu:

   a. Throw it in the trash

   b. Grill some meat, chicken or fish

 

4. I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.

 

5. I don't mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food supply in 3 hours and 20 minutes.

 

6. A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.

 

7. Kids today don't know how easy they have it.  When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.

 

8. Senility has been a smooth transition for me.

 

9. Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero outside they closed school?  Yeah, Me neither.

 

10. I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented.  I forgot where I was going with this.

 

11. I love approaching 70, (Consider that I am here)

I learn something new every day and forget 5 other things.

 

12. A thief broke into my house last night.  He started searching for money so I woke up and searched with him.

 

13. I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.

 

14. Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.

Thanks CHAR

 

 

 

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

 

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.

 

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared

it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now

have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

 

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic

(absorbs heat)?

 

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's

Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or

some variant.

 

One student, however, wrote the following:

 

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So

we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the

rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume

that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls

are leaving.

 

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different

religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions

state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to

Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since

people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that

all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can

expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

 

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because

Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in

Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand

proportionately as souls are added.

 

This gives two possibilities:

 

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls

enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase

until all Hell breaks loose.

 

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in

Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes

over.

 

So which is it?

 

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman

year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,'

and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then

number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic

and has already frozen over.

 

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it

follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,

extinct leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine

being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my

God.'

 

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks,

Jim

 

 

Non-humor Department:  Note to all subscribers:  all items are being offered on a first come, first served basis, no item will be held on an email or phone call.  If you have a question, please call the store during my normal business hours, as it sometimes takes several days to respond to emails.  Also, these mailings can only describe a small number of the items I have in stock, and often things come and go much too quickly to get into the mailing. The way to get the things you want and need, therefore, is to stop by frequently, without waiting to be notified in advance, since the mailing can be helpful to you only to a point. 

 

                                         

Directions to the store:  from Interstate 290 West, take the Hope Ave exit to rotary, take first exit off of rotary .9 miles.  Take left after Fire Station, 1073 Main St. is yellow brick building on right.  Go to light, take right and another quick right to enter parking lot from Main St. entrance.  Overflow parking is next to the fire station.

 

From 290 East:  Take College Sq. exit, go left under 290 and get back on 290 headed west. Take the Hope Ave exit to rotary, take first exit off rotary .9 miles.  Take left after Fire Station, 1073 Main St. is yellow brick building on right.  Go to light, take right and another quick right to enter parking lot from Main St. entrance.  Overflow parking is next to the fire station.

 

 

Tool Shed News copyright 2020 by Jim Whitley