The Tool Shed

1073 Main St
Worcester, MA 01603
(508) 753-3738

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Tool Shed News (sent to our subscribers, or you can read it--full length, including jokes, here)

      Here's the most recent Tool Shed News, sent to our regular customers almost every week. You get a sampling of part of the inventory that's in stock, there are jokes (PG rated, sort of), weekly specials, and anything else I decide to throw in. If you want to subscribe (for free), please note two things: One, it's for New England residents only, and two, I don't sell your name, so you won't be getting any more spam than what you get already. Send me an email at  if you wish to subscribe and you live in New England.

       In either case, everything is always first come, first served, we do not take "holds" via phone or email, and we don't ship or mail anything.  Also, at least half the stuff that comes in gets sold long before it hits the newsletter, so don't use this as your only motivation to come into the store.  The people who find the most of what they are looking for are the people who come in regularly.  And check the date of the posting, as I'm not always as on top of it as I might be.


1073 Main Street

Worcester MA 01606

(508) 753-3738


On the web at

Dec 11, 2018

Hi, Gang-


Bargain table is at $1 per item.




Hours this week: Wed-Fri 1-5, Saturday is up in the air,I  plan on being open 1-5 , but I have offered use of the parking lot to the Worcester Fire Dept for the funeral of fire fighter Christopher Roy who worked out of the Webster Sq. fire house and lost his life battling a fire on Sunday morning. 

I will update the website when I get in on Saturday afternoon, and send out an email to let people that receive the emails, whether or not I am open.  Of course you can also call.  508-753-3738.






Video link:


Humor Dept: NEED JOKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





Thanks FIN





Donald is walking out of the White House and heading toward his limo, when a possible assassin steps forward and aims a gun.


A secret service agent, new on the job, shouts “Mickey Mouse!” This startles the would- be assassin and he is captured.


Later, the secret service agent’s supervisor takes him aside and asks, “What in the hell made you shout Mickey Mouse?”


Blushing, the agent replies, “I got nervous. I meant to shout “Donald, duck!”







Thanks PM




The value of a Catholic education and a #2 pencil.

Little Susie was not the best student in Catholic School . Usually she slept through the class.

One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping.

'Tell me Susie, who created the universe?'

When Susie didn't stir, little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.

'God Almighty!' shouted Susie.

The Nun said, 'Very good' and continued teaching her class..

A little later the Nun asked Susie, 'Who is our Lord and Savior?'

But Susie didn't stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to her rescue and stuck her in the butt.

'Jesus Christ!!!' shouted Susie.

And the Nun once again said, 'Very good,' and Susie fell back asleep.

The Nun asked her a third question...'What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'

Again, Johnny came to the rescue. This time Susie jumped up and shouted, 'If you stick that darn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'

The nun fainted.






Thanks BH




A couple was invited to a swanky costume party.  The Mrs. got a
terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.

He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was
going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his
good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away
he went.

The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without
pain and, as it was still early, decided to go the party.

Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she
would have some fun by watching her husband, to see how he acted when
she was not with him.

She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on
the dance floor, dancing with every nice looking woman he could, and
copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.

His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he
left his current partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new babe

that had just arrived. She let him go as far as he wished
naturally, since he was her husband.

Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed.

So off they went to one of the cars and had a quickie.  Just before unmasking

at midnight , she slipped away, went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.

She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked what kind of
a time he had..

He said: 'Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time
when you're not there.

'Did you dance much ?'

I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met
Pete, Bill Brown, and some other guys and we went into the den and
played poker all evening.

    But you're not going to believe what happened to the guy I loaned
my costume to..... 











Non-humor Department:  Note to all subscribers:  all items are being offered on a first come, first served basis, no item will be held on an email or phone call.  If you have a question, please call the store during my normal business hours, as it sometimes takes several days to respond to emails.  Also, these mailings can only describe a small number of the items I have in stock, and often things come and go much too quickly to get into the mailing. The way to get the things you want and need, therefore, is to stop by frequently, without waiting to be notified in advance, since the mailing can be helpful to you only to a point. 



Directions to the store:  from Interstate 290 West, take the Hope Ave exit to rotary, take first exit off of rotary .9 miles.  Take left after Fire Station, 1073 Main St. is yellow brick building on right.  Go to light, take right and another quick right to enter parking lot from Main St. entrance.  Overflow parking is next to the fire station.


From 290 East:  Take College Sq. exit, go left under 290 and get back on 290 headed west. Take the Hope Ave exit to rotary, take first exit off rotary .9 miles.  Take left after Fire Station, 1073 Main St. is yellow brick building on right.  Go to light, take right and another quick right to enter parking lot from Main St. entrance.  Overflow parking is next to the fire station.



Tool Shed News copyright 2018 by Jim Whitley