The Tool Shed

1073 Main St
Worcester, MA 01603
(508) 753-3738

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Tool Shed News (sent to our subscribers, or you can read it--full length, including jokes, here)


 
      Here's the most recent Tool Shed News, sent to our regular customers almost every week. You get a sampling of part of the inventory that's in stock, there are jokes (PG rated, sort of), weekly specials, and anything else I decide to throw in. If you want to subscribe (for free), please note two things: One, it's for New England residents only, and two, I don't sell your name, so you won't be getting any more spam than what you get already. Send me an email at fairwayturf@hotmail.com  if you wish to subscribe and you live in New England.

       In either case, everything is always first come, first served, we do not take "holds" via phone or email, and we don't ship or mail anything.  Also, at least half the stuff that comes in gets sold long before it hits the newsletter, so don't use this as your only motivation to come into the store.  The people who find the most of what they are looking for are the people who come in regularly.  And check the date of the posting, as I'm not always as on top of it as I might be.

 

1073 Main Street

Worcester MA 01606

(508) 753-3738

 

On the web at www.used-tools.com

Dec 5, 2017

Hi, Gang-

 

 

Bargain table is at $1 per item.

 

 

Hours this week: WED-SAT 1-5

 

 

 

 

 

Swear jar update:  December donations/violation are going to Make a wish.  Last month $100 was raised for The Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund.  Someone said it was odd that it totaled $100 even, that is because it was less than that and I threw in the difference.

 

 

Video link:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWwexBpcAEU&feature=youtu.be

 

 

Humor Dept:

 

Thanks ME

 

 

 

 

It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the University's intercom: "Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing." 

Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: "Will the twelve hundred students who went to move 26 cars please return to class." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks ME

 

 

A guy runs into the bar and says, "Quick, pour me five shots of your best scotch!" The bartender pours them and the man drinks them as fast as he can. "Wow, that's the fastest I've seen anyone drink!" says the bartender. "Well, you'd drink that fast if you had what I had." The bartender says, "What do you have?" The man replies, "50 cents."

 

 

 

Thanks ME

 

 

A man came home to find his wife in bed with a stranger. "What the hell are you two doing?" He demanded. His wife turned to the stranger and said, "See, I told you he was stupid."

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks ME

 

 

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

 

 

 

 

Thanks ME

 

 

 

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks,

Jim

 

Non-humor Department:  Note to all subscribers:  all items are being offered on a first come, first served basis, no item will be held on an email or phone call.  If you have a question, please call the store during my normal business hours, as it sometimes takes several days to respond to emails.  Also, these mailings can only describe a small number of the items I have in stock, and often things come and go much too quickly to get into the mailing. The way to get the things you want and need, therefore, is to stop by frequently, without waiting to be notified in advance, since the mailing can be helpful to you only to a point. 

 

   

Directions to the store:  from Interstate 290 West, take the Hope Ave exit to rotary, take first exit off of rotary .9 miles.  Take left after Fire Station, 1073 Main St. is yellow brick building on right.  Go to light, take right and another quick right to enter parking lot from Main St. entrance.  Overflow parking is next to the fire station.

 

From 290 East:  Take College Sq. exit, go left under 290 and get back on 290 headed west. Take the Hope Ave exit to rotary, take first exit off rotary .9 miles.  Take left after Fire Station, 1073 Main St. is yellow brick building on right.  Go to light, take right and another quick right to enter parking lot from Main St. entrance.  Overflow parking is next to the fire station.

 

 

Tool Shed News copyright 2017 by Jim Whitley